thank you :')

thanx guys :')

jumpa lagi!

soon, i hope :)

btw, aku kerja part time kat cotton on

percaya tak :P

the long and winding road

last thursday 
submission day 
shitty submission 
i would like to call it 


kinda bumped bout it 
but there's no one to be blamed but myself 


wait.


maybe i can blame my bloody CAD . 
acting funny and crappy in the midst of submission n all
haish . crap . 


come to think of it 
i only had design to think about 
and still i failed to deliver 
why . 
should have done better . seriously feeling crappy bout it 


sometimes, i think that i care more about others than myself 
but i can't help it . this is me 
i should put me first . 
and anybody else second 


i kinda breakdown everytime finals are around the corner
it's just that when u do the same thing, routinely, every now and then 
u just get sick of it ,and u just wanna go home 
i wanna go home .

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail."

- Confucius-

fak this shit

i hate it whenever u called

u talked to me like i'm a person with no freaking feelings at all 

i hate it since u are the one who's asking me out 

and when i can't make it or i'm with someone else

u make this tone of voice that clearly sounded like u'r upset/pissed off

i did not signed any contract with you 

or anybody else for that matter 

nobody owns me except for my parents 

i can go out with whoever i want to

and i do not memorize everybody's schedule for god's sake 

i've been trying my best to 

allocate time and hang out with friends

u know what's the big problem here ????

it's because the circle of friends u created 

the certain people u try to avoid in your life 

i tried to bring u along 

but u wouldn't give in 

sticking to what ever that u believe in 

i'm tired of all this shit 

i'm trying to be a good friend here

i'm trying hard to please whoever that i call friends 

but i'm getting tired of this 

i just don't even care anymore

this is all just drama crap 

a bucket full of tears

been a depressing week 
results are out 
extending another semester 
yeah shit happens 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
and if it is not bad enough 
while my mum n my dad were in kl 
we got an mms by my mum's sis saying that my uncle was critically ill 
we decided to visit my uncle in ipoh 


knowing my uncle 
he's a fighter 
everytime he is admitted 
be it for major operation
i know that he will survive


all this while 
aku tau dia kuat 
everytime he is admitted 
i'm not worried 
i know he can make it  


we arrived at general hosp Ipoh at 3 am 
we tried to visit 
but unfortunately 
he was in the high dependency unit 
therefore it was locked 


sewaktu itu 
aunt aku dan anak-anak nya dah berkampung dekat hosp 
beralaskan tikar aunt aku anak beranak tidur di luar unit tersebut 
since we can't do anythin we went back to my aunt's place 
decided to go back early in the morning tommorow 


after breakfast we went to the hosp 
there in the high dependency unit 
my uncle rested on the hosp bed 

there 
i can't hold my tears 


my uncle was on machine support 
with all the wires strap on to him 
i started to cry 


according to the nurse 
(nurse tu betul2 muka seposen je)
"he is critically ill" 
his pancreas and his kidneys are failing him 
his heart weak 
i started to wept 


the nurse said that he may be unconscious but maybe he can still listen 
deep inside i know he's not gonna last long 


seeing his condition 
we tried to change our flight tickets back home 
unfortunately , no ticket was available 
be it air asia / malaysia airlines 


bila nak keluar dari high dependancy unit tu 
mak aku pesan 
"dah jgn nangis . lap air mata tu . jgan nangis depan aunt"
i have to be strong in front of my aunt 
she has been through a lot 


setengah jam lepas keluar dr wad tu 
my parents were called 
definitely not a good sign 
a few minutes after that 
a few doctors were rushing up the stairs into the high dependency unit 


i couldn't hold my tears anymore 
after a few minutes 
it was official 
my uncle had left us 


i'm sorry 
i didn't call u when i was in shah alam 
i'm sorry i didn't make a point to call u once in a while 
to make sure u were feeling well 
i'm sorry 


u always make me feel like i'm at home 
whenever i was around in ipoh 
i never felt like out of place 
because i know i still have u and your family in ipoh 
i'm sorry i've troubled u around 


u've been a great uncle to me 
tak sempat nak balas budi uncle 
after all u've been through 
i know u're a fighter 
u fought a great battle 
may u rest in peace


-al-fatihah uncle ellias- 

in between

sibuk org berhari raya
sibuk jugak dia nak set date submission on the first day of class
next monday

hari ni dah wednesday
open house pun tak habis lagi 
ada dua rumah lagi kot

between submission n hari raya???

hmmm....
definitely raya !

choi. work?
i just have to put u on hold .

i'll get back to u when i'm done with raya .ayte.

aku tak kacau kau . kenapa ko nak kacau aku ?

semalam aku dan rakan-rakan pergi menonton toy story 3 

best best best !

ingatkan tgk toystory 3d

amat bersemangat sehingga meminta wang saku lebih dekat ayahanda untuk menampung perbelanjaan extra untuk menonton 3d 

rupanya ... tiket toystory 3d full... shit semangat sia-sia... 

hasil : menonton toystory 2d dalam panggung yang x full 

akibat : bila panggung tak penuh . kawan-kawan naik syeikh . kebisingan memonopoli panggung wayang menyebabkan liyana mekong sebab asyik pass-pass makanan tak habis-habis

ok melencong

aku bukannya nak menceritakan kisah aku di panggung wayang 

tetapi apa yang terjadi dekat aku selepas menonton toy story 3

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

selepas menonton wayang 

we decided to lepak dekat jesselton point 

we ordered drinks / makan and all

then suddenly my brother called

he said he wanted to take the house keys from me 

so i was like ok la 

when he came , i passed the keys to him 

it was a long walk . ok maybe i'm exaggerating . but we all duduk quite far jugak la . near don's point 

after passing the keys , aku pun berjalan la nak ke table aku yang nun jauh 

and there was these group of boys , sitting kat pedestrian walk after a game of futsal 

i wasn't looking at anyone of them . but i was aware of their presence

then suddenly a shirtless guy with shoulder length kinda hair , dripping wet from his own sweat , 

stopped somewhere near me, then shaking his head like he is trying to shake all his sweat away 

sheeeeeeeeeeeeet it was like attack of the sweats

sumpah dia sengaja berbuat begitu 

wei pikir la . ko ingat aku suka ke digelumangi peluh ko yang masam tu ?

talk about euw , sumpah bebrapa titik kena aku , geli gila ok 

sumpah aku tak paham motif ko 

aku tak kacau engko , so why the hell do u wanna bug me 

sheeeeeeeeeeeet peluh ko yang masam tu dah kena aku . geli ok 

kalo aku sapu ketiak aku yang masam kat muka engko ko nak tak ?

sumpah aku geli 

i was furious

tapi memandangkan aku sorg 

aku nak mengamuk 

tapi aku tahan

risau gak aku diorg jual aku kat myanmmar

tapi apa yang ko buat sumpah babi 

tolongla pikir pkai otak bukan pikir pkai lutut

geli gila ok 

ko sumpah faktap gila 

kalo ko kaka ke x pe gak 

kalo kaka sanggup aku nak peluk dia basah basah 

ko dahla bukan main untuk world cup pun 

bajet ko terer ar main peluh-peluh

adoi baru main futsal kot. 

geli ok 

*akibat incident tu . setelah aku kembali ke meja . aku rasa sgt marah .pressure. lagi emosi bila aku tertanya kenapa aku yang mudah mengamuk ini tidak mengamuk di scene tadi . rasa geli sepanjang malam. balik terus membersihkan diri . duduk dgn tidak senang ketika lepak sepanjang malam. geli gila

let's blend everything and make it into juice

actually wanted to do a post on my makan makan adventure...
but ntah apa kena ngan blogger.com hari ni
sumpah faktap giler.
so instead , i posted it on facebook .
haah take that !

if im rajin enough ,
i'll post the pics here, if not ,

actually i really wanted to do a post on my makan makan adventure
potong ar/ spoiled my mood. hmmph

so it's not really official
but hey i'm goin back
gonna kiss my sandy beaches when i get home
hell yeah home is where the heart is

currently - homesick mood
ya i miss home
i miss everything about home
u name it home cooked meals, my queen size bed,
and also watchin 4wd driving around in the heart of kk 
like badly , since i didn't get back home during the short break
due to my cousin's engagement
total of months in semenanjung tanah air = 4 months

i really don't like it when i'm homesick
i get really emo-ish
there is no control on the water works department
n when i'm homesick my brain does this rewind kinda thing
which is not good . period

some things are never meant to be rewind
that's why in life there is no rewind button . i supposed
why ,what , but.... shit , oh well
hell , homesick is never a good thing

but i'm glad we talked
cleared some of my
questions.that.have.been.on.my.head.for.some.time.finally.been.
answered
and exception ,
i never understood your motifs, and i don't even wanna know
mind games . let's play chess. i'll bet i'll kick your ass
kick ass -best , siapa blom tgk memang lame .
aku cool sebab aku dah tgk :D

my exam is coming up
the one and only paper.
will revise once i'm done wit research paper
ya, congratulate me , i've just submitted one hell of a heavy burden
working drawings
to think that i love writing up to engineer's detail a million times in the drawings
think again. to hell with your detail . like i care
suffering from soreness/lenguh-ness of the right arm
causing massive defeat in the call of duty

to the KK clan
i'm missing u guys . bila nak lepak ?

say hello to another emo post.
note to self : please don't post anything when feeling homesick / when it is 3 in the morning

wasted

wasted a whole nite
wasted my whole nite of sleep
wasted my freakin energy
just wasted

had a long cold shower
it helps i guess

take a deep breath...
now back to work

p/s: this is my 50th post
suppose to be a post bout me celebrating life
hell yeah this is me celebrating architorture life

life's a b*tch . because if it was a slut , it'd be easy.

bapaku bukan tokey balak

bapaku bukan tokey balak 

i repeat 'bukan'

bapaku juga bukan Richard Branson 

atau sape2 yang sewaktu dengannya

aku bukan public welfare 

kalo takde duit jgan bercinta

ko ingat aku ni public welfare ke ??

if i have a lot of money,

i have gone to euro trip already

ok 

u get me ?

darah ku dah sampai ke hidung 

i'm sick of these people surrounding me 

using me like i'm some replacement item or like i'm providing some kind of an escort business

no i'm not your replacement item 

i may be quiet about it 

but if u push me any further ,

i may blow at any time 

think time bomb cam dalam crita 'the hurt locker'

kalo ko blom tengok crita tu ko lame

stop looking for me 

as if i've signed a contract to be with u 24-7 

i'm nobody's item 

i don't belong to anybody 

except for my parents

ok . get it?

oh 

u don't get it rite 

coz u hear me but u don't listen 

i need an escape

my escape 

my home 

i miss u 

coz u always manage to make me safe and warm 

not controlled, claustrophobic feeling like these concrete jungle

please

go away 

u oh so nonsense problem 

coz u r makin me sick 

makin me miss my home even more

lost in the month of january- the drama issue

it's February ALREADY ...
it's been a month ALREADY since i'm back in shah alam ...

it's been only a month and the 'Drama' has ALREADY started ...
yup .. couldn't quite understand though ... just feeling a little bit lost sometimes ...
maybe because the 'Drama' happens ever so often and ... maybe i just don't give a damn anymore
maybe i just couldn't care less ... maybe i need my serenity .. i miss home ...
with all this 'Drama' happening around me.. maybe i should grab a paper and a pen ... make a script out of it ... and beat the crap out of the local drama scene ... so step aside Nur Kasih ...  make way for Budak Arki drama

it's been a month ALREADY i've been skipping working drawing classes for three times ALREADY
and yup i'm supposed to have my class now but to hell with it.... 
forks with working drwg .. i just hate the look on the 06 students ...
bajet bagus.. koingatadaakukesah????!!!

it's been a month ALREADY and i'm out of my rented shop house in pusat komersial back to kolej anggerik
and since shit always happen, my room had some leaking problems , and we were relocated into different2 blocks ...since there is no other available rooms to fit us all... so they separated us... for a freaking whole month ...
it's bad enough that i'm sleeping with total strangers ... even worse when i realized that i'm in Uitm so maybe most likely the repair works will be more that a month promised ...

it's been a month ALREADY and i bought a new phone and i lost it  ..
sheeeeeeeet ... didn't even use it for a month ...
luckily it's not such an expensive phone ...but money is still money ...

it's been a month ALREADY..
and life's a bitch ..

ke mana hilangnya>>>

-=model arts and crafts centre aku=-

aku lama menghilang..
bukannya sengaja tapi sumpah bz dengan finals and submission ...

aku start final aku on the 29 of oct paper archyscience pastu on the 30th of oct ada paper construction technology pulak ... 2 of nov aku ada paper structure dan on the 6th aku ada paper history ...

post ini mungkin berbunyi keluhan... memang keluhan pun... tapi aku saja nak ceritakan hidup aku sewaktu final

kalo tak nak baca -skip this page now-

semua orang memang ambik exam TAPI yang bangangnya sem ni tengah2 orang nak sibuk exam, kena submit assignment la pulak buat presentation la ... can u imagine ... pergh memang manala nak korek masa...(pls don't try to lecture me on time management :S)

minggu exam memang dipenuhi dengan study kallo tak study buat assignment kalo tak buat assignment buat presentation kalo tak print presentation kalo tak tido ...
pergh tak cukup lagi dengan kita terkejar2 nak hantar assignment ...

boleh pulak kalo assignment tu lewat satu hari tolak sepuluh markah ...( subject ni takde final exam so report yang kitaorg hantar tu adalah markah anda untuk subjek itu ) memang setan//sebab aku memang hantar lambat pun....

there goes my hope in increasing my grade point average for this sem ....

tak cukup dgn itu .. boleh pulak sakit time time exam hari tu ...
kesan: jawab macam haram...demam panas ketika cubaan menjawab kertas construction technology..

balik drpd exam terus tidur.. malangnya dikejutkan oleh roomate..
wei mim assignment const tech hantar malam ni before ten...
*'/ pergh... menyirap... tapi buat juga walaupun demam panas...dan hantar pada malam itu juga

sepanjang final aku tak berapa sihat...
penghasilan mukus tanpa henti .. seumpama aku adalah kilang mukus
aku ke klinik sebannyak 2 kali...

selepas final aku sibuk tumpukan perhatian kepada design..
dan juga assignment yang tertunggak...
sepatutnya aku balik 13 nov namun terpaksa tukar tiket kpd 15 hari bulan kerana kerja aku tak siap lagi...

i'm longing for a freakin sunny beach holiday .... or....lazying around the house doing nothing....but unfortunately... i'm having my practical for a month this semester AGAIN...

.perlukan break drpd semua ini.penat. kadang2 hidup perlukan koma. berhenti seketika dan mulakan sesuatu dengan jiwa yang baru ...

peristiwa yang malang ...

aku baru sedar aku sudah lama tidak mengupdate...
rupanya2 dah dua minggu aku tak mengisi perut blog aku ni..
aku memang bz this few days ... serious tak tipu...
janji aku untuk berblog selalu dgn adanya celcom broadband sememangnya dusta belaka..

ok back to the main point...
minggu ni memang minggu yang malang ///
pergh ... disebabkan dua tiga hari ni aku bz (kan aku dah kata aku mmg betul2 bz)
load laundry aku sememangnya melambung .... ada yang aku hantar dobi ..
ada yang aku cuci tangan (ye cuci tangan.. ni dsebabkan mak aku yg suruh ) mungkin anda rasakan aku tak reti basuh baju ///
tapi setakat basuh baju .. peanuts la beb ... :P

ok back to the main point ....
setelah aku cuci tangan aku ....
aku pun gantung baju aku kat ampaian KOLEJ ANGGERIK
pastu pg kelas la lepas g kelas g berenang kat uitm nyer swimming pool(ye UITM ada kolam renang )
setelah aku balik ... jeng jeng jeng.... 2 baju aku hilang lesap dan memang sah kena curi ...
sapela yang khinzir sgt g curi baju aku pun aku tak tau ...
baju kebaya putih yang seringkali aku pkai ke kelas telah diculik ... khinzir sungguh manusia itu ..
aku tertanya2 gak samade muat ke tak baju kebaya aku tu kat dia...
hmmmm ....

peristiwa ke 2
pergi ke plaza masalam....
apabila hendak pulang tiket parking hilang ... kawan aku dengan jayanya telah melesapkan tiket parking... ala2 magic konon...
ok tu takpe lagi... satuhal pulak mencari opis carpark yang seperti hidup segan mati tak mau kinda konsep... signage yang tak besar manala aku nampak mana opis ko.. dol
kena rm 20 untuk lost ticket tu ...( kawan aku bayar since dia yang hilangkan tiket tu)
kat sunway kawan aku kata rm50 kalo hilang ticket ...
moral of the story : jgan hilangkan ticket parking ... simple

peristiwa ke 3
aku ada kelas kul 8.30 sampai kul 10.30 ..pastu sambung dr 10.30-12.30
structure pastu akisains
aku overslept /// srious shit... kelas structure bungkus... kelas akisains masuk lambat 11.20 camtu...
lecturer aku bising 'why u late' ngan nada high pitch ...
pergh ada test pulak ... disebabkan lecturer aku nak cepat sebab dia sepatutnya ke klinik ...
dia suruh bagi komen dalam 2 sentences je on the ' an inconvenient truth' nyer documentary ..
hmmmph memang tahi sungguh sebab lepas 5 minit je aku duduk dia dah suruh submit sebab dia nak cepat....

peristiwa ke 4
nak keluar makan ...
ada khinzir yang meletakkan kereta nyer betul2 blakang kereta kawan aku ..
tak boleh nak reverse atau apa2 pun... khinzir btul...
padang kawad berlambaknye parking ,...
blakang bontot satria neo gak ko nak duduk ....
hmmm sukar untuk aku paham ....

kata tukang cerita : sumpah menyampah ngan peristiwa yang terjadi beberapa hari ini ... :S

aku perosak rumah tangga orang lain...(sungguh tidak benar fakta ini)

setelah lama aku sudah tidak ber-bloggg...
aku kembali ke arena berblog..

dan walaupun aku berjanji untuk update tentang program anak angkat di Sarawak yang aku sertai..
aku akan update tentang emosi yang seang bermain di benak hatiku ini..
aku sangat rasa MARAH sekarang ..

situasi ini baru berlaku sebentar tadi...

ketika aku sibuk google tentang jawapan untuk sesuatu contest..
(serta sibuk mengekalkan line wireless uitm... *aku terpaksa mencari line wireless uitm dgn bersungguh2 kerana aku berada di kawasan rumah sewa yang agak jauh dr uitm..lama juga aku mengangkat laptop ku tinggi2.. dan ternyata teori ini mmg benar .. wireless lebih berkesan..tetapi aku lenguh jugak la tangan aku ) aku aku akan berhenti bercakap kosong/melalut/ramblings...

back to the story...

ketika aku sibuk google mencari jawapan untuk sesuatu contest..
aku dikejutkan dgn panggilan telefon..

rakan aku : telefon berbunyi~(ibarat cerita wonderpets)
aku : sape?
rakan aku : en fauzi tuan rumah sewa ko...
aku : monologue dlm hati berkata (ohh ini mungkin tentang pipe yang pecah itu )

aku pun mengangkat fon ..

aku : hello, en fauzi..
en fauzi : ni sape..
ketika ini aku ragu2 sama ada dia encik fauzi ke tak kerana suaranya persis seorg wanita
aku : ni (nama aku), tenant rumah en fauzi
en fauzi yg bersuara perempuan : ni sape!~ dgn nada yang lebih marah ..
aku : dalam hati berkata mungkin dia tak faham english... ni (nama aku) yang sewa umah en fauzi..
en fauzi yg bersuara perempuan : oooo kenapa awak selalu call en fauzi..

pada tahap ini aku sdh berasa pelik ..
baru tertimbul di hati aku .. oo ini mungkin bini fauzi..

aku : paip rumah saya pecah.. jadi saya nak ingatkan en fauzi sebab dia sentiasa lupa..
bini fauzi : awak jgn nak main2 dgn saya eh. kenapa awak bg en fauzi masuk rumah awak
aku : dah paip pecah . en fauzi nak tlg fixkan.. lagipun dia dtg dgn kawan yang nak betulkan paip
bini fauzi : saya ni kat shah alam . saya tak nampak apa yang berlaku kat perak tu... saya sendiri pun dulu student uitm,student interior design, awak student apa
aku : architecture..
bini fauzi : FSPU kan .. saya kenal lecturer awak .. kenapa awak selalu msg en fauzi.. kenapa awak nak bermanja2 ngan en fauzi.. lain kali awak ckp sekali je ckp straight to the point.. lain kali awak tepon saya je senang..019-*******.. saya kenal en fauzi tu jgn la nak... (byk lagi yang dia katakan namun aku penat nak taip)

by this time byk dah dia membebel kat aku .. dan bila aku defend diri aku .. dia bising2 dan accuse aku lagi..
bila aku bg reason yang mmg reasonable dia tetap tak percaya ... aku pun ckp ye ye je kat dia ..

TOLONGLAH perempuan yang MARAH aku tak tentu pasal .. aku tak teringin pun laki ko tu...
hensem pun tidak.. ckp pun tak lurus.. aku sgt panas ni sebab ko tuduh aku nak MERAMPAS suami ko tu...
AKU BUKAN PEROSAK RUMAH TANGGA ORG ...
pls-lah .. aku sgt geramm..
bila aku cerita dgn rakan ku yang lain ..
airmata menitis dgn byknya ...
aku sedih campur geram ...
SUMPAH MENYAMPAH serta MARAH...
BABI TUDUH AKU YANG BUKAN2

kata tukang cerita : aku sgt emo sekarang ...sori posting ni sgt emotional bunyinya